Jerry Quote #257
Quote from Jerry in The Library
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Does it seem to you that the ventriloquist dummy has a very active sexual, social life? He's always talking about dates and women he knows, and bringing them back to the suitcase at night. There's always a sawdust joke in there somewhere, you know. He says kinky things because he's made out of wood, and he can spin his head around. We're somehow expected to believe because the face is so animated that they think we're not noticing that the feet are just swinging there. The dummy feet never look really right, do they? They're just kind of dangling there. Always kind of askew, you know. You always just a see an ankle, you know. Those little thin, fabric ankles that they have, you know. I don't think this thing is real.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Library’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: What's amazing to me about the library is that here's a place where you go in, you can take out any book you want, they just give it to you and say bring it back when you're done. It reminds me of, like, this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend, you know. That's what the library is. A government-funded pathetic friend. And that's why everybody kind of bullies the library. I'll bring it back on time, I'll bring it back late. Oh, what are you going to do? Charge me a nickel?
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Boys are sick.
Jerry: Well, what do girls do?
Elaine: We just tease some one 'til they develop an eating disorder.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Any day that you had gym was a weird school day. You know what I mean? Because it started of kind of normal. You have, like, English, Geometry, Social Studies... And then suddenly you're, like, in Lord of The Flies for 40 minutes. You know, you're hanging from a rope. You have hardly any clothes on. Teachers are yelling at you, "Where's your jock strap?" You know, and kids are throwing dodge balls at you, you're trying to survive. Then it's history, Science, Language. There's something off in the entire flow of that day.