Jerry Quote #268
Quote from Jerry in The Library
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Any day that you had gym was a weird school day. You know what I mean? Because it started of kind of normal. You have, like, English, Geometry, Social Studies... And then suddenly you're, like, in Lord of The Flies for 40 minutes. You know, you're hanging from a rope. You have hardly any clothes on. Teachers are yelling at you, "Where's your jock strap?" You know, and kids are throwing dodge balls at you, you're trying to survive. Then it's history, Science, Language. There's something off in the entire flow of that day.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Library’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: What's amazing to me about the library is that here's a place where you go in, you can take out any book you want, they just give it to you and say bring it back when you're done. It reminds me of, like, this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend, you know. That's what the library is. A government-funded pathetic friend. And that's why everybody kind of bullies the library. I'll bring it back on time, I'll bring it back late. Oh, what are you going to do? Charge me a nickel?
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Oh, I'm glad you're here, so we can get this all straightened out. Would you like a cup of tea?
Lt. Bookman: You got any coffee?
Jerry: Coffee?
Lt. Bookman: Yeah, coffee.
Jerry: No, I don't drink coffee.
Lt. Bookman: Yeah, you don't drink coffee? How about instant coffee?
Jerry: No, I don't have-
Lt. Bookman: You don't have any instant coffee?
Jerry: Well, I don't normally-
Lt. Bookman: Who doesn't have instant coffee?
Jerry: I don't.
Lt. Bookman: You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.
Jerry: Really? I'll have to remember that.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Boys are sick.
Jerry: Well, what do girls do?
Elaine: We just tease some one 'til they develop an eating disorder.