Todd: Can you imagine being married to Elliot?
[fantasy: the Janitor and Elliot sit on their couch:]
Elliot: Darling, do you think that we're pigeon-holing the children?
[The three boys are dressed like janitors and the trio of girls are dressed like doctors]
Janitor: Who cares? It's not like they're ours.
[reality:]
Janitor: I'd have to find some tiny charts and mops, but it's doable.

J.D.: [v.o.] There we were. Elliot's friend Melody and I, witnessing this moment.
Elliot: Yes! Oh, my God, yes.
Keith: Awesome! Awesome! Okay.
Elliot: This is so romantic. Okay, it's a little tight, just push a little harder. Uh, got a little skin there, no problem.
Melody: Here come the fricks.
Elliot: Just put that motherfrickin' ring on my motherfrickin' finger! Frick! Frick! Frick!

Elliot: Mrs. Sheldon, may I just say I hope to look as good as you when I'm 80.
Mrs. Sheldon: I'm 68.
Elliot: Did they not have sunscreen when you grow up?