Janitor: Well, howdy, Dr. Kelso. Ain't she a beaut'? I rented her so I could repair the air conditioning unit.
Dr. Kelso: Looks expensive, who authorized it?
Janitor: Why, you did, sir. Must have been Tuesday last.
Dr. Kelso: Stop talking like a farmer. I did no such thing. Now, I'm not sure how one would go about making a janitor's life even more miserable, but what say we start by docking your pay for the cost of this monstrosity.

Dan: I gotta tell you little brother, you were always the apple of Dad's eye. You know, that's the worst thing about college football, the male cheerleaders. Ooh, God, that's a chick.
Dr. Cox: You know, when my father died, all I could focus on was how he was never there, but you- You're lucky, you've got some positive stuff you can dwell on. Throw the ball, Jackass.
Dan: He is a jackass.
Dr. Cox: I mean, I met your father, I remember it like it was yesterday. After about two seconds I could tell how proud he was of you.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I heard something I thought I'd never hear.
Dr. Cox: Truth be told, there, Newbie. I'm proud of you.
Dan: Me too.

J.D.: [v.o.] Working at Sacred Heart, you grow accustomed to a lot of things. Sickness, death, Ted's morning self-affirmation ritual.
Ted: People are laughing with you. People are laughing with you. People are laughing with you.