Dr. Cox Quote #413
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Fault
Dr. Cox: I can't believe Kelso really asked my opinion, you know?
Janitor: Look, pal, if I wanted to sit and listen to someone yammer on about their lives, I'd be at my AA meeting right now.
Dr. Cox: Listen, there, scrub-brush, it just so happens it was the only empty seat in the whole joint. And besides, as a fellow abusive drinker, you are honor bound by barstool protocol to listen to every last word out of my mouth.
Janitor: Go.
Dr. Cox: Kelso... Kelso really listened to me about this whole full body scan thing.
Man: I was thinking about getting one of those scans.
Dr. Cox: What did he say?
[on TV commercial:]
Girl: Mommy? When's daddy coming home?
Woman: He isn't. [sobbing] If only he'd loved us enough to get a full body scan at Sacred Heart!
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Fault’ Quotes
Quote from Turk
Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
Carla: Turk!
Turk: What? While you're at it, why don't you put a string in the back of him, so when you pull it he sings "Mammy"!
Baker: Forget it.
Turk: Where are you going? To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes? I'mma call Jesse! And we gonna march on your ass! [licks frosting] Mm.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Mr. Corman: I wanna know everything that's wrong with me.
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not even feeling bad. You don't need this scan. If it would make you happy, we can just go ahead and do the exact same thing we've done the last fifty times you've been in here. Take your temperature, draw some blood, and give you a rectal. It's your basic "Ah! Ow! Oh!"
Quote from Turk
Turk: The point is, I don't lose my cool.
J.D.: I don't know. Remember back in college, when we had tickets to see Michael Jordan in the playoffs?
[flashback:]
Turk: [singing] We're goin' to see Michael Jordan. We're goin' to see Michael Jordan. We're goin' to see Michael Jordan. 'Cause we got good tickets. We went five hundred miles.
J.D.: Hey, was I supposed to bring the tickets or the sandwiches?
[As Turk realizes they're both holding sandwich bags, he screams and starts pulling out his hair]
J.D.: Oh, God.
Turk: Oh, no! Leave it on the floor! You leave it on the floor!
[present:]
J.D.: You shaved your head for the first time after that.