Dr. Cox: I can't believe Kelso really asked my opinion, you know?
Janitor: Look, pal, if I wanted to sit and listen to someone yammer on about their lives, I'd be at my AA meeting right now.
Dr. Cox: Listen, there, scrub-brush, it just so happens it was the only empty seat in the whole joint. And besides, as a fellow abusive drinker, you are honor bound by barstool protocol to listen to every last word out of my mouth.
Janitor: Go.
Dr. Cox: Kelso... Kelso really listened to me about this whole full body scan thing.
Man: I was thinking about getting one of those scans.
Dr. Cox: What did he say?
[on TV commercial:]
Girl: Mommy? When's daddy coming home?
Woman: He isn't. [sobbing] If only he'd loved us enough to get a full body scan at Sacred Heart!