Dr. Cox Quote #940

Quote from Dr. Cox in Their Story II

J.D.: [v.o.] Now that Dr. Cox was the Chief of Medicine, I had become the guy everyone counted on to fight for the things the hospital needed. Yep, I was the one person who would get him to say...
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: You need to hire a few more nurses.
Dr. Cox: Look, Tammy. We don't have the money. If you want to go out and raise the cash yourself, feel free. Maybe you could sell your eggs to a fertility clinic, or sell that beard of yours to the Ridiculous Museum. Better yet, you could make a list of all the people you drive insane and tell them that for a nominal fee, you'll never speak to them again. You, of course, offer them a monthly subscription at a reduced rate, just to reel them in. And then after a while of you not talking to them, people will forget just how annoying you are and they'll let their subscription run out. And, bang! That's when you show up at their house, and you drive them insane all over again by speaking to them. And here's the kicker. When everyone's trying to re-subscribe, you lay it on them that the price is now quadruple. And I'm predicting, and this is a low-end guesstimate, you're looking at about $100,000,000 a quarter, easy. You give the hospital a hundred thou, we hire a few nurses. But, until then, you go tell Carla it ain't happening.
J.D.: Wow. That was super fun.
Dr. Cox: Get out!


 ‘Their Story II’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: [v.o.] Plus, with my new role, people were treating me with a new found respect.
Janitor: I don't like how you're trying to make people treat you with a new found sense of respect.
J.D.: I'm not making people do anything.
Janitor: How else do you explain it? Did you hypnotize them? Are you trying to hypnotize me? 'cause that's not gonna work. I'm already hypnotized. Fifteen years ago, I'm in Vegas, I volunteer to be part of this guy's act. Half way through the show, fire alarm goes off and I never get snapped out. There's some word out there floating around like an on/off switch for me that if I ever hear it, I'll just go completely unconscious.
J.D.: Is it "sassafras"?
Janitor: It is "sassafras", you're right. It's amazing, of all the words in the English language-
J.D.: Boondoggle. [the Janitor drops his head] Yes! That was it?
Janitor: You're such an ass. Here's your warning. If you start walking around here like you're the big cheese, I'm gonna have to punish you, okay?

Quote from Elliot

Denise: [v.o.] Still, Dr. Reid has been super-supportive. Toss her a compliment as a thank you.
Denise: Even though that dress is totally inappropriate for a doctor, you are so rocking it.
Elliot: That's awesome because I actually have a policy that if I don't get three compliments the first time I wear it, I have to return it. Now, I've got you, J.D. He said this morning that I looked "scrumpdelicious". Yeah, he actually does talk like that. The meth addict from this morning said he want to eat my eyeballs, which I'm counting because the dress really make them pop.

 Dr. Perry Cox Quotes

Quote from My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

Quote from My Life in Four Cameras

J.D.: What the hell are we supposed to do?
Dr. Cox: Loretta, relax. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV-induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, monkey pox, Pop Rocks, toilet snakes, mad cow, bird flu, swine flu, and, quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you actually fornicate with the animal it's named for. And as a parting gift, I will tell you this. Narrow it down to two symptoms: vomiting and diarrhea, because it's just not E. coli unless it's firing out both exits.
J.D.: Sure hope I don't have dog flu.