J.D. Quote #1400
Quote from J.D. in My Long Goodbye
J.D.: [v.o.] I wish there was an easier way to bring bad news to people.
[fantasy:]
Man: So what's wrong with me doc?
J.D.: Mr. Gubard, I think it would be best if we brought in the bad news robot.
Robot: Hello, random patient. You have cancer. Press 1 for a reassuring pep talk. Press 2 to give up. You pressed 1 for a reassuring pep talk. You are strong. You can beat this. Beat this, beat this, beat this, beat this. [explodes]
J.D.: Stupid robot!
Robot: Ow.
[later:]
J.D.: I'm so sorry but your father has had a massive system's failure.
Young Robot: Oh daddy, no.
J.D.: It started in his hard drive and then worked its way to all the other circuits. I know this is a very difficult time for you.
[The young robot fires a laser beam at J.D., incinerating him. The robot comes over and vacuums J.D.'s ashes up]
[reality:]
J.D.: Sure, disintegrate the messenger.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Long Goodbye’ Quotes
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Cox: What the hell am I gonna do?
J.D.: [v.o.] Unfortunately for Dr. Cox, that's when Elliot walked by and showcased her oddest talent.
Elliot: Somebody just had a baby.
Dr. Cox: How do you know?
[fantasy:]
Elliot: My uterus is glowing.
J.D.: My mom had an uterus. I lived in it.
Quote from Carla
J.D.: [v.o.] And that's when Carla knew what she had to do.
Nurse Roberts: [imaginary] Go on, girl. You can do it.
Carla: [sighs] Wow, I'm still not ready to do this. [sighs] It's gonna be so weird not having you by my side every day. Making fun of the doctors, going on and on about Jesus. Man, I hope he's real or you're gonna be pissed. Remember my first day, when that patient came in and started bleeding out on me? I was so shocked I could barely move. But you stood by my side and you guided me through it. And then you did the most amazing thing of all. You made me laugh. [sighs] For the last 15 years, you've been my role model, but most of all you've been my friend. And I don't know what else to say, except I'm really, really gonna miss you. [sighs] Goodbye.
[Carla looks back and no longer sees Laverne standing with her]
Turk: Come on, baby.
J.D.: [v.o.] You can ask any doctor, sometimes it seems like patients just hang on until everyone's had a chance to say goodbye.
Quote from Turk
Turk: You know, Laverne, if this was a horror flick I'd be so scared that I was next. Huh, they always kill the black folks off first. Now, I'm not really worried about it, 'cause there's still Snoop Dogg resident, and Leonard the security guard and... You know, when you think about it, this is a white-ass hospital. I'm gonna miss you. So, you take care, okay?