J.D. Quote #867
Quote from J.D. in My Quarantine
J.D.: Come on, Steve. Stay with me, buddy! You're not getting this one, Lord! [quietly] Could you make your face a little bit redder, buddy? Come on.
Steve: I want more money.
J.D.: What?
Steve: 50 bucks or I tell the girl.
J.D.: I don't have it!
Steve: Get it!
J.D.: Elliot, I need another doctor over here, stat! Gimme $30.
Elliot: I gave you 20. I'm tapped. Ask Johnson. He's loaded. I need a dermatologist over here, stat!
Dr. Johnson: Oh, yeah! Time to shine. What do you need? Is it a rash?
J.D.: Look, I paid this guy to fake a heart attack. He wants 50 bucks. We only have 20.
Dr. Johnson: You know, I feel like you guys just use me for my money.
J.D.: You have a trust fund! Now give me the money! Clear! [uses paddles]
Steve: I'm alive!
J.D.: J.D., one. Lord, zero.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Quarantine’ Quotes
Quote from J.D.
Kylie: So, uh, what's wrong with this guy?
J.D.: Well, let's see. Fatigue, fever, malaise. Have you been to Hong Kong, sir?
Man: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I said something stupid.
J.D.: Could be SARS.
J.D.: [v.o.] I forgot that if any doctor suspects SARS, it's cause for immediate quarantine lockdown.
[fantasy: Indiana Jones theme plays as sirens blare and doors shutter across the I.C.U. Jordan, now wearing a fedora, dives under the shutter as it closes]
Dr. Cox: What have you done, Newbie?
Danni: [holding a flask] Quarantinis, anyone?
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Otherwise, let's bear in mind that we are short-handed. There are only 4 doctors here.
Turk: I counted more than that.
Dr. Cox: I'm talking legitimate doctors, turtle head. Here, pee pants is a pathologist, so he doesn't count. Johnson is a dermatologist, which is Greek for "fake doctor," and please don't even get me started on you four surgeons.
Todd: There's only two of us.
Dr. Cox: You are so very useless, I counted you both twice.
Todd: Yeah you did.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: J.D., seeing a young doctor do his job is an amazing turn-on for a girl. My dad's a doctor, and I remember how excited I was the first time I saw him work at the hospital. I mean, I didn't want to sleep with him, but there were definitely some complicated feelings. But that's totally normal for an 11-year-old, right? Anyway, yeah... I forget.