Dr. Cox: That's it! Ladies and gentleman. Welcome to the first annual Sacred Heart "Who-Caresies" Awards, designed to honor those people who believe that others actually give a rat's ass about the minutia of their lives.
J.D.: [v.o.] The weird thing was I think we all really wanted to win.
[fantasy:]
Dr. Cox: And the nominees are Barbie Reid for "What Am I Going To Do About My Ex-Fiancee?". [applause] Dame Judy Dorian for "I'm Done Self-Sabotaging". [applause] Gandhi for "I've Got Candy In My Teeth". [applause] The Todd for: "Look At My New Shirt". [awards-style split screen] And the winner is Dame Judy Dorian! This is Dame Judy Dorian's first nomination and first win.
[reality:]
J.D.: [v.o.] Suck on that, Tony Shalhoub!