David Quote #206

Quote from David in New Car

David: So the low energy bulbs you installed in the bathroom, I'm finding the light to be very harsh, and, um... Did someone die, or are we going through like, a mid-life Goth phase?
Stevie: Someone died.
David: Okay, I'm just finding the bulbs to make my skin look very jaundice-y.
Stevie: My great aunt died.
David: Okay, I can't tell if we're still joking or not?
Stevie: I'm not.
David: Okay, and now I can't tell whether you're playing into the joke, or whether, um... You're telling the truth?
Stevie: She was 78.
David: So you're not joking. Okay.

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 ‘New Car’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: [in a Cockney accent] The truth is that, um, we've- We've struggled with penury for quite some time now. Well, just two years ago, we were practically 'omeless.
Car Salesman: Where are you two from?
Johnny: You know, I've been wondering that myself.
Moira: I'm from London. I was one of two identical twins. Tragically, I was snatched from my crib at birth by Russian mobsters. Mmm-hmm. They looked at my fair skin, and my dazzling eyes, and they said, "We'll make a pretty penny on that one, on the 'uman black market, we will."
Car Salesman: And what about the twin?
Moira: What's that, love?
Car Salesman: Well, if you're identical, I thought you'd both be valuable.
Johnny: Yes, wouldn't you?
Moira: She wasn't born yet. Yep, she wasn't born 'til three minutes later. And the Bratva work very quickly.

Quote from Moira

Car Salesman: Hey folks, how we doin' today?
Moira: [in a mock Cockney accent] Oh, excited beyond compare! Yes, especially with this being our first ever purchase of an automobile.
Johnny: Yes, it's our first car, let's hope we can afford it.
Moira: Yes, my poor 'usband, lost his job recently as a tennis pro. Yes, at a public resort, that is, yeah.
Car Salesman: Well, let's get you folks settled inside, we'll see what we can do.
Moira: Oh, thank you. It'll be nice to get off the streets, and be indoors for a change, yeah?

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Now, I'm not staying long, I just came by to borrow some clothes.
Roland: Ah, okay. Honey, why don't you check your closet, and see if you got anything that Johnny can fit into.
Johnny: Look, Moira and I are going to a used car lot today, and I just need to appear more, um...
Roland: Official?
Johnny: Casual. Casual. You see, I've got a closet full of suits, but, uh, I don't wanna be taken advantage of because I'm overdressed, I need to look like I don't have money.
Jocelyn: But you don't have any money.
Johnny: Oh, I know I don't have any money, but I need to look like I don't have money.