Alexis: Okay, there are things going on right now that you don't know about.
David: Like what?
Alexis: Like things I that can't talk about, okay?!
David: I know about your dandruff shampoo.
Alexis: That is preventative, and that is not what I'm talking about!

Ted: The amount of times that I run into you in this place is like, out of a romantic comedy.
Alexis: I'm sorry, what?
Ted: Is everything okay?
Alexis: Um, yeah, totally. I mean, I have a pimple because I washed my face with dirty hand soap, but, no biggie. [giggles] Yeah, just don't look at it.

Ted: Hey, I don't know if this is something you'd be interested in, but my secretary just quit, and if you need the cash...
Alexis: That's so sweet, but I would be uncomfortable accepting free money.
Ted: No, no, you'd be working. Doing her job, and I would pay you for it.
Alexis: Oh! But there would be animals around all the time?
Ted: That is generally what one can expect when working at a vet clinic, yes.
Alexis: Hmm.

Johnny: You know it's funny, it didn't seem that long ago that you were relying on me for everything. Like when you were taking your harpsichord lessons, and I would drive you.
David: I was seven.
Johnny: All the lessons that I paid for, and schooling-
David: Okay, what is happening here?
Johnny: Nothing, nothing, I'm having a little chat with my son, that's all. Do I have to pay for that? Last I heard, you didn't have to pay...

David: What is going on?!
Johnny: It's- I've over extended a little bit this month. Financially, I- I could use some gap financing, that's all.
David: Well, should I be concerned?
Johnny: No, no.
David: Well, how bad is it?
Johnny: It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. Aand you know, this is so awkward for a father to come to a son for money.
David: Well, believe it or not, this is actually not the most awkward parent/son request I've gotten today, so... If you need money, I can give you money.

Johnny: Well, thank you, David. So-
David: Oh, my God! What are you doing?
Johnny: Well, I was trying to give you a hug.
David: I-I get the gesture.
Johnny: I should've undone the seatbelt.
David: Okay, well then, let's just leave it at a gesture.
Johnny: Okay, let's just leave it.
David: Um yeah, let's leave it.
Johnny: High five, son.
David: Uh well, okay, okay.

Teller: Did you start with the temporary pin that we sent you?
David: What? What temporary pin?
Johnny: Ah, see?
David: No "see!" None of that, listen! I phoned someone here, a teller, I think, who told me that I didn't need a temporary pin number!
Teller: Oh, which teller? Because it's only me and Carol here. [Carol is seated in the back eating a sandwich]
David: It was a while ago.
Teller: It says the account was opened last week.

David: Okay, I just need to take out some money for my dad. Um, because my family is in debt. So if you could help me help him, that would be a wonderful thing.
Teller: Of course, I just need you to pick a new pin.
David: Okay. It's 7-2-8-3.
Teller: Sir, you just said your pin out loud. So I suggest you pick another one.

Johnny: What about my birthday?
David: No!
Johnny: It's easy.
David: It's not easy. Nothing's easy about this. Okay, where what?

Alexis: I never saw myself having like, a normal job. But I think it's gonna be kinda nice to make money and stuff, and like, help out a bit more.
David: You're working for your ex.
Alexis: David, Ted wouldn't have hired me if he thought it was a bad idea!
David: Ted also proposed to you twice, so I'd say Ted's decision making skills are a little suspect.
Alexis: Okay, well I will have you know that I went through the same interview process as everybody else. He asked me several questions, most of which I answered.