April Quote #351
Quote from April in Ron and Jammy
Dan: Hopefully we get a body in today, so I can show you guys the really fun part: Draining.
April: Oh, God. I hate this so much. Cool. Can I touch a dead body?
Dan: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, eager beaver. That doesn't happen for at least a year.
April: Why? How did you become a mortician? Can't I just sign up?
Dan: Oh, gosh, no. You need two years of school and a year-long apprenticeship. First few years are mostly paperwork and filing.
April: Ugh! Why is every job just paperwork?
Dan: Hey, it's a living. [chuckles]
April: Yeah, I think we're just gonna go, Dan. Um, the reality of your life is incredibly depressing. I'm just gonna stay at my current job until I get old and die and then end up here being embalmed by some weirdo who had to go to school for three years just to cut my guts open. Let's go.
Ben: Oh, thank God.
Dan: Okay. Have a good one.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Jammy’ Quotes
Quote from April
Ben: Hey, April. How's it going?
April: Fine. Except hearing Joan talk about her passion and doing what you really love, like, totally freaked me out. Eight years ago, I accepted a random internship at the Parks Department, and then Leslie told me to do a bunch of stuff, and now I'm executive director of regional whatever... I don't even know what it means, and I never even asked myself if I even really like it. I mean, it's like what is my purpose in life? What do I even care about? My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine.
April: I don't know what to do. I have to quit.
Ben: To do what?
April: I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When it comes to Tammy, the code is the same as that of the battlefield: First, you leave no man behind. Second, you must protect yourself against chemical warfare. Tammy does not abide by the Geneva convention.
Quote from Donna
April: Donna, what do I do? If working around corpses isn't even right for me, then nothing is. I feel totally lost.
Donna: Saturn's return.
April: What?
Donna: Saturn's orbit around the sun takes roughly 29 years, and when it gets back to where it was when you were born, lots of turmoil, self-discovery. When I was your age, I got banned from every riverboat in Germany.