Leslie Knope Quote #271
Quote from Leslie Knope in Tom's Divorce
Leslie Knope: So, how you doing, buddy? Want some steak? Champagne? Think of something extravagant and we'll get it for you. What do you want? A cheese fountain? A ruby? A goose heart?
Tom: How about a marriage? How about a non-divorce?
Leslie Knope: Tom, I'm sorry. Maybe you guys just need some time apart, you know, to remember how much you care about each other.
Tom: Leslie, think about it. Does our marriage really make sense to you? She's a tall, beautiful surgeon. I'm a short, beautiful government employee/club promoter.
Leslie Knope: You're a club promoter?
Tom: Aspiring. The point is, I never meant anything to her. It wasn't even a real marriage.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Now, the sadness is pouring out of Tom, like blood from a pterodactyl after it's attacked by a T-Rex. I have to take him to a place where he can't possibly be sad. Oh, crap.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Tom's Divorce’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Tom: I'll have the surf-and-turf-a-saurus, and a couple of bottles of wine. I'm gonna need a lot of wine, so keep it flowing.
Ann: I'm not gonna be drinking anything. Just wanted everybody to know that.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: I'm not a big fan of group dinners where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get. I ordered a Tyranna-Caesar salad, and that's all I'm paying for.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: God! It is rough in here. Is it always like this?
Ron Swanson: I wouldn't know. Don't like strip clubs. Smells like a wet mop in here. And I get the feeling that every one of these women is running a low-grade fever.
Leslie Knope: You're one of the good ones, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Wait a minute. Hello, beautiful.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt-of-the-earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses. But I will take a free breakfast buffet any time, any place.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork. [Leslie laughs] I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.