Andy Quote #566
Quote from Andy in A Parks and Recreation Special
Leslie Knope: We asked Johnny to come on your show and speak to the children of Pawnee.
Andy: Chuuh. That's right, children. Listen, I know things are weird now. You're at home. You... miss school. Ha! How strange is that? You actually miss school. Your parents are home as well, and they're trying to teach you and it turns out they can't teach you jack because they are so dumb. Well, kids, Johnny Karate wants you to know you must stay strong and be nice to your parents. Also... chh, chh... these... wash them. Wash your hands. And I know what you're thinkin'. I'm a 38-year-old man, and I've literally never once washed my hands in my entire life.
Leslie Knope: Andy, have you never washed your hands before?
Andy: Point is, if we pull together, you and I can karate... chop... this... virus! Whhhh!
[title: "Note: the virus cannot be karata-chopped"]
Andy: Things will go back to normal. They just have to, and... it might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It might not be next week. Might not be a year or a hundred years or a thousand years. It might never happen.
Ben: Dude.
Andy: But it will eventually. Boys, girls, this is Johnny Karate signing out. Chhha! Waai-chi-iii! [groans] Ohh... Oh, when I did the kick, I pulled something kinda...
Leslie Knope: Johnny, we can still see you.
Andy: Oh, right in my butthole.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘A Parks and Recreation Special’ Quotes
Quote from Perd Hapley
Perd Hapley: Welcome to "Ya' Heard? With Perd". I'm Perd Hapley, the Perd I mentioned a second ago when I was telling you the name of my show. Now, here today are two people who are also my guests. Leslie Knope from the Department of the Interior and Congressman Ben Wyatt.
Leslie Knope: Hi, Perd.
Ben: Hey, Perd. How are you?
Perd Hapley: I guess my first question is more of a query. What did you want to talk about?
Quote from Perd Hapley
Perd Hapley: You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. And the "it" that you heard was the things that these people just said. Now, a word from our sponsors.
Quote from Chris
Ann: I'm just helping with out-patient care. Gotta do what we can. Chris is donating blood four times a week.
Andy: Oh, good for you, man. [lock clattering] Who are you giving it to? Just kind of... whoever wants it? "Trade with the Postmates guy" kinda thing?
Ann: I used to date that guy.
Chris: Oh, no! Andy. The CDC asked me to donate because I am extremely healthy. My red blood cells are so big, you can see them with the naked eye. They're like cherry Froot Loops! And my blood type is just positive.
Ann: They've designated him a super-healer. So far, it's just Megan Rapinoe, him, and a panther at the Miami zoo.