Tom Quote #235
Leslie Knope: So the only thing that's important to you is hotness? Wendy, Lucy. All you cared about was the shape of their boobs?
Tom: No. I really liked them, and they happened to have nice breasts. You're acting really weird. W- What'd you even buy me lunch for? Just so you could yell at me for what I like about women?
Leslie Knope: Okay. Promise not to tell anyone?
Tom: Sure.
Leslie Knope: This is insane. But you and I got matched up on hoosiermate.com. 98% match. Soul-mate-level match.
Tom: [smiles to camera] You want to date me. This is a date.
Leslie Knope: This is not a date, okay?
Tom: Uh, you took me to a fancy restaurant. You paid for my meal. And you're trying to get to know me better.
Leslie Knope: I was just trying to figure out why only sleazy guys are into me right now.
Tom: Nice try. You love me. [sings] Leslie Knope, Tom Haverford Dating in the day, dating in the night Dating all day 'cause he's keeping it tight
Leslie Knope: All right, Tom, enough.
Tom: Dating in the car, dating on the floor Dating everywhere, 'cause she wants some more [scatting]
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Soulmates’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ann: Describe your ideal man.
Leslie Knope: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing, and he plays the organ.
Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.
Leslie Knope: Mm.
Quote from Tom
Leslie Knope: Do you want to go to lunch?
Tom: Uh, no, I don't really feel like going to JJ's.
Leslie Knope: We can go anywhere. Your choice. I'm buying.
Tom: Can I get apps and 'serts?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: 'Serts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches Sammies, Sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a "z." I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big old cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fry-fry chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky-chicky parm-parm. Chicken cacciatore-- Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks... Food rakes.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: Yeah, you can get as many 'serts as you want.
Tom: Well, let's get in my go-go mobile.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Car.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Yellow-haired female likes waffles and news.
Ann: Sexy, well-read blonde loves the sweeter things in life.
Leslie Knope: Much better.
Ann: Hobbies?
Leslie Knope: Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun. Um, jamming on my planner.
Ann: Favorite place?
Leslie Knope: Upstairs there's this mural of wildflowers, and I like to sit on a bench in front of it.
Ann: Really? It could be anywhere in the world. Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon.
Leslie Knope: No, just the bench in front of the mural.
Ann: What about, like, an actual meadow where wildflowers are?
Leslie Knope: Ew, Ann. I'm scared of bees. Mural.