Tom Quote #54

Quote from Tom in Beauty Pageant

Tom: If you guys like grilling, you want to come over and use my grill... Look, let me do you a favor. Take a key. Just come by, grill up whatever you want.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: This is one of my favorite pick-up strategies. I'm constantly giving one of my keys.
Trish: This is your house key?
Tom: Yeah. I just happened to have a spare. Just come by, go for a dip, whenever you want.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: So far, none of them have shown up.
Ann: That's a very appealing offer, thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Matter of time.
Tom: Hey, Craig.
Craig: Hey, Tommy.
Tom: Fifty more copies, please.
Craig: You got it.
Tom: I have been robbed twice.


 ‘Beauty Pageant’ Quotes

Quote from April

Host: Okay, folks, just a couple more contestants, and then the judges will decide our next Miss Pawnee, a winner of $600 in gift certificates to Big Archie's Sporting Goods and Emerson Fencing Company.
April: What? We don't get cash? This is for a fence?
Host: Well, it won't cover a whole fence. But it will defray the cost considerably!
April: Oh, my God. I quit. I quit. [walks off stage]
Host: Okay, I guess she really is quitting.
[aside to camera:]
April: No, I didn't win. But at least I didn't make any new friendships.

Quote from April

April: [excited] Hey!
Leslie Knope: [confused] Hey!
April: So, I was just at The Grind and I thought you might want an iced mocha with extra, extra whipped cream.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my. Thank you so much, April. Wow!
April: You're welcome. Oh, by the way, completely unrelated, I just signed up for the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant.
Leslie Knope: That's wonderful. You know, that is why I decided to become a judge. So that awesome girls like you, who are not, you know, classically hot, can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy.
[aside to camera:]
April: Beauty pageants are idiotic. But I found that the winner of the Miss Pawnee pageant gets $600. I can be idiotic for $600.

Quote from April

April: I'm going to do impressions.
Host: Oh, celebrity impressions. That's wild. Wild stuff.
April: Yeah. This is an impression of my sister. [normal voice] Hi, I'm Natalie. I love Ritalin and have low self-esteem. [Charles laughs wildly] Hmm. Thank you. This is an impression of my boss, Leslie Knope. Women should do everything. Check out my four-color pen. Hey, everybody. Listen up while I talk about some really important stuff. Parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, Michelle Obama, parks. Gay penguins, parks, sugar, parks. [Tom laughs]
Leslie Knope: She got me. She got me good. She got...