Andy Quote #482
Quote from Andy in One in 8,000
April: Andy, you already have three Johnny Karate shows tomorrow.
Andy: No, not according to my file here. Oh, I forgot, other hand. Crap.
April: Okay, we need a better system. Look, I'll just write down an itinerary for you, so you can just focus on songs.
Andy: Okay, well, you have to catalog all this stuff. I mean, this is hours' worth of work.
April: What is that? "Don't tell secret"?
Andy: Oh, no, that's not one.
April: Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That's the whole point of marriage. You get twice the secrets.
Andy: Dude, it is nothing. I don't have anything. I'm not acting weird. You're acting weird. Excuse me. I have to get back to work now. [lifts shirt over head]
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘One in 8,000’ Quotes
Quote from April
Ben: So what do we got so far? We need big-ticket items.
April: I got the Red Hot Chili Peppers to send us a signed guitar.
Ben: That's great, April. How'd you do that?
April: It's a long story, but the short version is, I'm currently catfishing Anthony Kiedis.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Okay, there's still plenty of ways to raise money for the concert, right? Maybe we'll win the lottery. I mean, hey, you're looking at a woman who just hit triple cherries in her uterus.
Ben: We're screwed.
Leslie Knope: No, we're not, we have three weeks until the concert. It'll be fine.
Ben: No, not the concert. The triple cherries. I mean, of course it's the most amazing and wonderful thing to ever happen, but, okay, I am an accountant, and I am looking a cold, hard facts. Raising three kids is going to cost $2 million.
Leslie Knope: Babe, our kids will be geniuses. They'll get scholarships. Half of my tuition was paid for by the Indiana scholarship for pretty blondes who like to read. It's now called the Virginia Woolf prize. Different time.
Quote from Donna
Ron Swanson: What are you doing?
Donna: I'm getting a picture of you volunteering at a public elementary school in case I ever need to blackmail you.