Ron Swanson Quote #472

Quote from Ron Swanson in The Cones of Dunshire

Tom: Video-Ron-demand. What you carrying, my dude?
Ron Swanson: The time has come to sell my cabin. But I haven't had much luck finding a buyer.
April: "For sale. Small house. Location: Forest." It's a little wordy, don't you think?
Donna: "Current owner will not clean up shotgun shells or animal carcasses." The hell is wrong with you, Swanson?
Ron Swanson: Fine, I'll clean up the shotgun shells, but the carcasses remain to fertilize my berry patch.


 ‘The Cones of Dunshire’ Quotes

Quote from Tom

Tom: [aside to camera] The question I always ask myself is, what kind of mogul should I be? Fashion mogul, energy drink mogul. I even thought about downhill skiing. A mogul mogul. But a real estate mogul? Hmm. That's a hot mogul right now.

Quote from Ben

Ben: Presenting "The Cones of Dunshire," a brand-new gaming experience. 8 to 12 players. Two wizards, a Maverick, the arbiter, two warriors, a corporal, and a ledgerman. Now, the ledgerman just keeps score, and he wears this hat.
Leslie Knope: Oh, boy.
Ben: Now, the object is to accumulate cones. Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone, you have to build a civilization. The other amazing thing is the challenge play. Actually, let me tell you more about the trivia cards, 'cause you're gonna need to know about roadblocks first. Nah, never mind. The thing about the challenge play is that it's basically the reverse. Then you roll three dice to see how many dice you roll with. Oh, 16. Perfect, lots of choices. Okay, each turn goes: Roll, buy, action. I mean, obviously, this would be much taller in the real game. But the corporal can veto. This should be green too. How did this happen? Are the cones a metaphor? Well, yes and no.
Leslie Knope: What is this called again?
Ben: "The Cones of Dunshire." Oh, my God, the Maverick should be able to trade lumber for agriculture credits. How have I not thought of this before? This is nothing, right?
Leslie Knope: When do you go back to work again?
Ben: Tomorrow. It's fine. I'll just throw this in the garbage.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Tom: So what's the story, Ron? Diane making you sell this place?
Ron Swanson: Not at all. Recently, I purchased a new cabin big enough for the whole family. I just can't justify owning four cabins. Two cabins.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: The new cabin I bought has a great tire swing for the girls, access to a lake for all the kids to play in. Plus, it doesn't have these razor-sharp perimeter defense planks sticking out of the ground.