Chris Quote #197
Quote from Chris in Jerry's Retirement
Ann: I would have never imagined the baby-making process to be this clinical. I mean, imagine if actual sex were like this.
Chris: Let me remove my clothes so we may begin to engage in physical activity to multiply our genes. And it's also weird because we dated and we remember what it's like to engage in some of those physical activities.
Ann: Exactly. And we were also pretty good at those physical activities.
Chris: Yes, we were. Yes, we were.
Ann: You know, is this all the pamphlets? 'Cause I think that maybe I have some left in my bedroom.
Chris: Oh, well, then, we should definitely go look for those.
Ann: Let's find those.
Chris: We need to find those.
Ann: Hurry.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Jerry's Retirement’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Dr. Van Dyne: So we ran all your tests, and everything looks great. You might be the healthiest human being we've ever seen. You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise.
Chris: Yes, I get that a lot.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I am putting together a scrapbook commemorating my first year on the city council. This year whizzed by so fast. There was so much more I wanted to do. But time is the relentless and cruel enemy of the devoted civil servant. It's actually one of the sub-titles of my scrapbook. Probably would've got more stuff done if I hadn't spent so much time brainstorming scrapbook titles.
Quote from Tom
Tom: Here are the last of the Animal Control reports.
April: What are you doing, weirdo?
Tom: Just trying not to spill anything.
Ron Swanson: I believe Leslie said to organize these by year.
Tom: Way ahead of you. I made two pile files. [laughter] Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos.
Andy: Filo pilos? That's not right.
Donna: Are you broken?
Tom: No, everything's fine.
April: Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is.
Tom: No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong.
Andy: Said it wrong.
Tom: Stop it! [laughter]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: This is how it begins. The next "Jerry." One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later, I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests and listening to Bonnie Raitt and The Da Vinci Code on my iPod. It's already started.