Ron Swanson Quote #198
Quote from Ron Swanson in Road Trip
Ron Swanson: And that, Lauren, is how FDR ruined this country.
Teacher: Lauren, ready to head back?
Ron Swanson: Well, I guess it's time for you to head home. I've really enjoyed talking with you. You are... and this is not a joke... much smarter than most of the people who work in this building.
Lauren: I liked talking with you, too, Mr. Swanson. [shakes Ron's hand]
Ron Swanson: Ron. Hang on, hang on, I have something for you. This is a Claymore land mine. Use that to protect your property.
Lauren: Thanks, Ron.
Ron Swanson: You got it.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Road Trip’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: Here's the sitch. I developed a dope new game show where I ask couples scandalous questions, and they have to guess what the other one answered. I call this Know Ya Boo.
Jerry: Oh, that sounds like The Newlywed Game.
Tom: Shut up, Jerry! It's not The Newlywed Game okay?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: It is totally The Newlywed Game. But big deal. Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing, with Nick Cannon, which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer or something, which I think was Shakespeare. Don't know, don't care.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Look, little girl, can we postpone this for another day? It's unsettling having you just sit there.
Lauren: But my report's due tomorrow.
Ron Swanson: What's it on?
Lauren: Why government matters.
Ron Swanson: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine-year-old.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: What's your name, ma'am?
Lauren: Lauren Berkus.
Ron Swanson: Lauren, my name is Ron Swanson, and I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know about the miserable, screwed-up world of local government.
Lauren: You have mustard in your moustache.
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me, Berkus. Let's get started. "Life, liberty, and property." That's John Locke.