Jerry Quote #23

Quote from Jerry in Ron & Tammy: Part Two

Leslie Knope: Ron Swanson, this is an intervention. You have been spending the last 24 hours sipping on joy juice and tripping on Tammy. Well, the people in this room are your methadone. And we're here to get you clean.
Jerry: [enters] Congratulations. Holy matrimony, there's the man of the hour.
Leslie Knope: Jerry, what is this?
Jerry: That is the set of tumblers that I got from the registry.
Leslie Knope: This is an intervention.
Jerry: I thought you said on the phone it was a reception.

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 ‘Ron & Tammy: Part Two’ Quotes

Quote from Ann

Chris: I would like a local beer. I'd like it in a bottle. I'd like the bottle to be cold.
Ann: I would like a glass of white wine. I would like it to be chardonnay. And I would like that with one ice cube. Thanks.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [on video] Hello, Ron. It's Ron. If you're watching this, it means that once again you have danced with the devil. Right now, you're probably thinking Tammy's changed. We'll be happy together. But you're only thinking that because she's a monstrous parasite who entered through your privates and lodged herself in your brain. So you have two choices... One, get rid of Tammy, or two, lobotomy and castration. Choose wisely. You stupid [bleep].
Ron Swanson: This is a waste of time. You people have no idea what you're talking about.
Leslie Knope: That was you on the tape. That was you talking.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Wendy: They're getting really old and I'm an only child. I just feel like the right thing to do is to move back home.
Ron Swanson: I'm sorry to see you go. I've really come to think of you as... A companion.
Wendy: Hey, I don't suppose you'd want to move to Canada?
Ron Swanson: [chokes, spits, laughs] Canada. No, I don't suppose I would.