Ron Swanson: Maybe the next time I'm at the doctor's office getting my prostate examined, you could come by and shoot me in the head!
Tom: Excuse me, everyone. Ron, I have something to say.
Ron Swanson: Hang on a minute, Tom, I'm not done berating Leslie.
Tom: It wasn't Leslie's fault. She was covering for me because I didn't have a hunting license. I was the one who shot you.
Ron Swanson: You didn't get a license? What kind of moron doesn't get a license? That's reckless endangerment, my son. That's a $25,000 fine, minimum, and probably jail time.
Tom: But she covered for me, and I'm in the clear.
Ron Swanson: Yeah. That's right. She kept her mouth shut and now you're in the clear.
Leslie Knope: Well, Ron, you know, I couldn't let...
Ron Swanson: I know. You did good. You're a real stand-up guy. I'm sorry I lost my temper before. It was 'cause I was shot in the head by a moron.