Leslie Knope: April, I have a gift for you. Ta da.
Chris: At Leslie's suggestion, I have made you deputy director of Animal Control within the Parks Department. You'll be amazing at it, and the best part, there is no confirmation hearing.
April: How did you make this plaque so quickly?
Leslie Knope: I had it made your first week here. I knew you'd be going places, so I wanted to be prepared.
April: Can I hire an intern?
Leslie Knope: Not yet.
April: Can I hire a Mexican elf?
Leslie Knope: No.
April: Can I buy a child bride?
Leslie Knope: No.
April: Then how is this even a promotion?