Jess Quote #939
Daniel Grant: This question is for potential juror number 16. This case involves marriage.
Jess: I don't believe in marriage.
Daniel Grant: Excuse me, you don't believe in marriage? As a concept?
Jess: Well, you know, you gotta keep the freeway open. Uh, 'cause... sooner or later, you're gonna get tired of the same cars driving down it. Capiche?
Daniel Grant: Yes, capiche.
Jess: The two things that are ruining this country are marriage and democracy.
Daniel Grant: How refreshing. Another person who wants to get out of jury duty. I thought some people took this seriously, but apparently not. Trial by jury is a pillar of our democracy, and yes, it is inconvenient. But sometimes, sacrifice and civic duty are. You don't deserve the honor of serving your country. Maybe you should live in South Africa, where they don't have juries.
Jess: I know, I know! They have a judge and two assessors. Look, I'm-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean all that other stuff. I'd be a great juror. If you put me on this jury, you will not regret it. That was an emotional moment, and I feel it would be best punctuated with a... crash of that thing.
Judge: Nah.
New Girl Quotes
‘Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Cece
Jess: [on the phone] Guys, I need to go in right now. What do I do?
Nick: Whatever the trial's about, I say I don't believe in it.
Cece: Just tell them that your parents are Pakistani militants. That's what I do; works every time. Yeah.
Nick: Why'd you have an accent when you said "Pakistani"?
Cece: Because that's actually how you pronounce it.
Nick: "Pakazani"?
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: So why don't we just sit down and... and talk this out like adults?
Nick: I would love to, Schmidty, but where will we sit?
Cece: Okay.
Nick: Oh, perhaps we'll sit on this pile of uneaten carrots. It's like I'm living with Secretariat, the horse! [laughs]
Schmidt: He's hilarious.
Nick: On the plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight!
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: First clause: "If a roommate has five or more grooming products in the bathroom, they must use a shower caddy or pay an additional ten dollars in rent, adjusted every two years for inflation." I currently pay an additional $11.97 in rent.
Cece: Okay, yeah, well, I'm not using a shower caddy, because I'm an adult woman and I don't live in a dorm.
Nick: Have you been to a dorm recently? It's like a spa. Those horny texters live like kings.
Winston: Nick is really damaging this negotiation.