Nick Quote #885

Quote from Nick in Jury Duty

Schmidt: Hey, Nick. Did you leave your cereal out? You need to clean up after yourself. Shared living space, bro.
Nick: I can't do it. Schmidt, I can't do it.
Schmidt: You can clean up the cereal. Just go put it away. There's no cereal here; it's in the kitchen. Go clean it up.
Nick: Open your eyes, open your eyes to what's happening.
Schmidt: You already sleep in a mud dungeon. Please...
Nick: Cece's a hot slob. Cece, you're a hot slob.
Cece: What?
Schmidt: I'm sorry, what?
Nick: Look around, her stuff is everywhere. It's disgusting. Hey, Cece, you know what's fly?
Schmidt: Love that hat.
Nick: Cleaning's fly. Cleaning's cool, dude. Hey, everybody, I'm Cece Parekh. I got a bunch of hats, but I never wear them, 'cause I'm so busy throwing them around, being fly.

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 ‘Jury Duty’ Quotes

Quote from Cece

Jess: [on the phone] Guys, I need to go in right now. What do I do?
Nick: Whatever the trial's about, I say I don't believe in it.
Cece: Just tell them that your parents are Pakistani militants. That's what I do; works every time. Yeah.
Nick: Why'd you have an accent when you said "Pakistani"?
Cece: Because that's actually how you pronounce it.
Nick: "Pakazani"?

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: So why don't we just sit down and... and talk this out like adults?
Nick: I would love to, Schmidty, but where will we sit?
Cece: Okay.
Nick: Oh, perhaps we'll sit on this pile of uneaten carrots. It's like I'm living with Secretariat, the horse! [laughs]
Schmidt: He's hilarious.
Nick: On the plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight!

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: First clause: "If a roommate has five or more grooming products in the bathroom, they must use a shower caddy or pay an additional ten dollars in rent, adjusted every two years for inflation." I currently pay an additional $11.97 in rent.
Cece: Okay, yeah, well, I'm not using a shower caddy, because I'm an adult woman and I don't live in a dorm.
Nick: Have you been to a dorm recently? It's like a spa. Those horny texters live like kings.
Winston: Nick is really damaging this negotiation.