Schmidt Quote #765

Quote from Schmidt in Dice

Jess: You set me up on a date? I'm wearing my lounge-around underwear.
Schmidt: I set you up on ten dates.
Jess: What?
Schmidt: Ten years of experience in one day. Expert by midnight. The Dice Diez. "Diez" is Spanish for ten.
Jess: Are you insane, Schmidt? I'm not ready. That's like taking a musical from rehearsals straight to Broadway. You got to workshop it first...
Schmidt: If you are for one second suggesting that I don't know how to open a musical... How dare you? I'm trying to help you out here.


 ‘Dice’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.