Schmidt Quote #578
Schmidt: What happ- What happened to him?
Man: Well, he got smoked by a bus while he was having a bake sale for cancer kids.
Schmidt: For, for canc- For cancer kids?
Man: Yeah.
Schmidt: But he-he's, he's a great person.
Man: Bad things happen to good people all the time.
Schmidt: Of course they do. What am I even chasing here? What is the point of being a good person?
Man: Some say moral integrity is the cornerstone to humanity.
Schmidt: What do you know, you idiot? You choked on a piece of gum today.
Man: Hey, man, don't shoot the bike messenger.
Schmidt: That is a terrible joke! And none of this makes any sense!
New Girl Quotes
‘The Box’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Winston: Nick, it's my money, okay?! Give it back to me!
Nick: I make a little bit of money and you come slipping out of the "woodword"!
Winston: You mean "woodwork"?
Nick: What is "woodwork"?!
Winston: What's "woodword"?!
Nick: Wood! Word! Wood! Word! That's where people like you come crawling out of when people like me have money!
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hi, I'd like to unpay some parking tickets.
Keysha: Excuse me?
Jess: Well, I sent in a payment earlier for some tickets and I decided I don't want to pay them.
Keysha: Well, just cancel the checks.
Jess: Can't do that 'cause I paid cash 'cause my boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. It's early in the relationship. Still shaving above the knee if you know what I mean.
Keysha: Mm-hmm. Let me get this straight. You want me to watch the mail and let you know if I see anything from your boyfriend.
Jess: Exactly.
Keysha: Fantastic. Should I call you or...?
Jess: Text, text would be great.
Keysha: Perfect. Let me put your number into my phone. [taps on phone]
Jess: I didn't give you my number yet.
Keysha: Oh, I think you did.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I don't even know. I don't know what's cool anymore.
Jess: It could be a good time to start a bank account.
Nick: Yeah, or I could just flush it down the toilet.
Jess: It's not really the same thing, but-
Nick: A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls. That's all it is. I'm gonna keep my money where my mouth is. Um, under my nose. That saying actually does work.