Nick Quote #175

Quote from Nick in Backslide

Nick: Okay, sure, look, did Caroline physically, mentally and emotionally abuse me for years? Yes! But she changed. It's about timing. And the first time around, we weren't ready to work at it, and now we are. And besides, Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head, who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me I'm a failure and that I look bad in hats. I don't want to spend my whole life with him. You know what I mean?

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 ‘Backslide’ Quotes

Quote from Schmidt

Winston: So you and Cece are staying away from each other.
Schmidt: Only until my penis stops looking like a knotted wizard's staff.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Hey, Jess. I brought you some tea. Just gonna leave it right here, okay? There you go. So, Russell... Ouch. Right? I mean, who saw that coming? Not me. Certainly not Russell. I guess, I guess you saw it coming. I mean, 'cause you're the one who broke up with him.
Jess: Leave, Schmidt.
Schmidt: All right, fine. I'll leave. But you know what? Know this: you're not the only one that's hurting here, Jessica Day. The economy stinks, bees are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now, and I...
Jess: Don't say "broken penis."
Schmidt: ...have a broken penis. Don't pretend to know my pain.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: [moaning] It hurts so bad, because...
Cece: What's turning you on?
Schmidt: Oh...
Cece: The queen of diamonds? The bow?
Schmidt: Oh, my God.
Cece: The teeth in the glass?
Schmidt: I care about you so much.
Cece: The leaf painting?
Schmidt: But...
Cece: Is emotional intimacy turning you on?
Schmidt: [groans]
Cece: Are you in that much pain? Uh, he passed out. We need help!