Schmidt Quote #117
Quote from Schmidt in The Landlord
Schmidt: Cece, can I talk to you, as a... as a woman?
Cece: All right, Schmidt.
Schmidt: Okay. My boss and I, we're running a Pre-Sex Marathon right now, and I feel like we're stuck in mile 25. I'm cramping, Cece, my toenails are falling off, I'm peeing down my leg, it's like I can see the finish line, but I just can't get there.
Cece: I need to put one of these on right now.
Schmidt: The problem is is we don't talk. I don't know what she's thinking. Should I make a move or not?
Cece: Stop asking permission and go get it. That's what I would want. There's nothing less sexy than a dude asking if he can kiss you.
Schmidt: Nothing? I mean, what if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig? What if I called my mom after sex to describe it to her? What if I had a croissant blog?
Cece: Two of these now.
New Girl Quotes
‘The Landlord’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: Okay, where'd you find that?
Nick: Do not ever stop reading this.
Schmidt: I was very young. And drunk.
Winston: Were you too drunk to "begin the search for the cocoon..."
Nick: Cocoon. [chuckles]
Winston: ...that will one day release your butterfly"?
Cece: No, it does not say that one!
Nick: That's number three.
Cece: Come on!
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: Why are you doing this to me?
Winston: Maybe I just got bored painting over your interplanetary ass dojo. This is my favorite. "Find out where Winston gets his sparkle, and then steal it."
Cece: Oh!
Nick: Steal his...!
Winston: You were gonna steal my sparkle?
Schmidt: Give me that.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Maybe no one's ever been nice to him. Maybe violence is his only tool to express himself. [waves] Hi.
Nick: Huh? Get down. What are you doing?!
Jess: Hi. Don't kill us. Don't use guns!
Nick: Stop it. Just stop it. Just get down. [to the man] We're sorry. Take the spot.
Jess: Sir...
Nick: Just be submissive.
Jess: Sorry about this guy.
Nick: Don't apologize...
Jess: He's overreacting.
Nick: I'm overreacting? He has a gun, and you're dressed like a bull's-eye. [the man puts his gun away]
Jess: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Nick: I can't believe this is working.
Jess: Sorry.
Nick: You out-crazied a man with a gun.
Jess: Have a good day. [to Nick] See, it worked. You always see the worst in people.