Schmidt Quote #118
Quote from Schmidt in The Landlord
Schmidt: Hey, Kim? Look, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I hope you didn't get into too much trouble, I just... I really don't want to lose my job, okay? I've worked at Associated Strategies for six years. Nothing means more to me than Ass Strat.
Kim: Your lip is bleeding.
Schmidt: It opens back up when I talk. Look... Kim, this wasn't your standard 2:00 a.m. mistaken assault in the parking garage. I've had a thing for you every since I was the husky kid in the mailroom. And if... if you don't believe me... here you go. Straight from '07. Read resolution number four. It's about you.
Kim: "Only think about hot new C.F.O. Every other time I masturbate."
Schmidt: I did not live up to the challenge.
Kim: Number seven: "Start floating idea that people call me Mr. Finish/Game Time Jones/The Hook-up-erator."
Schmidt: Can I...?
Kim: Number nine: "Just pick a color of Crocs and buy them already."
Schmidt: Okay, thank you.
New Girl Quotes
‘The Landlord’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: Okay, where'd you find that?
Nick: Do not ever stop reading this.
Schmidt: I was very young. And drunk.
Winston: Were you too drunk to "begin the search for the cocoon..."
Nick: Cocoon. [chuckles]
Winston: ...that will one day release your butterfly"?
Cece: No, it does not say that one!
Nick: That's number three.
Cece: Come on!
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: Why are you doing this to me?
Winston: Maybe I just got bored painting over your interplanetary ass dojo. This is my favorite. "Find out where Winston gets his sparkle, and then steal it."
Cece: Oh!
Nick: Steal his...!
Winston: You were gonna steal my sparkle?
Schmidt: Give me that.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Maybe no one's ever been nice to him. Maybe violence is his only tool to express himself. [waves] Hi.
Nick: Huh? Get down. What are you doing?!
Jess: Hi. Don't kill us. Don't use guns!
Nick: Stop it. Just stop it. Just get down. [to the man] We're sorry. Take the spot.
Jess: Sir...
Nick: Just be submissive.
Jess: Sorry about this guy.
Nick: Don't apologize...
Jess: He's overreacting.
Nick: I'm overreacting? He has a gun, and you're dressed like a bull's-eye. [the man puts his gun away]
Jess: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Nick: I can't believe this is working.
Jess: Sorry.
Nick: You out-crazied a man with a gun.
Jess: Have a good day. [to Nick] See, it worked. You always see the worst in people.