Schmidt: Hey, Kim? Look, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I hope you didn't get into too much trouble, I just... I really don't want to lose my job, okay? I've worked at Associated Strategies for six years. Nothing means more to me than Ass Strat.
Kim: Your lip is bleeding.
Schmidt: It opens back up when I talk. Look... Kim, this wasn't your standard 2:00 a.m. mistaken assault in the parking garage. I've had a thing for you every since I was the husky kid in the mailroom. And if... if you don't believe me... here you go. Straight from '07. Read resolution number four. It's about you.
Kim: "Only think about hot new C.F.O. Every other time I masturbate."
Schmidt: I did not live up to the challenge.
Kim: Number seven: "Start floating idea that people call me Mr. Finish/Game Time Jones/The Hook-up-erator."
Schmidt: Can I...?
Kim: Number nine: "Just pick a color of Crocs and buy them already."
Schmidt: Okay, thank you.