Coach Quote #10

Quote from Coach in Menus

Coach: Nick. Let's do this. Look at me. Now, you're in a new relationship, which puts you at risk for gaining the boyfriend 15.
Nick: That's not a thing.
Coach: It is a thing.
Nick: Jess is into this.
Coach: I've seen this happen a million times. The boyfriend 15 quickly turns into the boyfriend 20. Next thing you know, you're a fat dude on a little bike with a cowboy hat on talking about, "My ass hurts."
Nick: I don't want to be that.
Coach: I don't want you to be that.
Nick: I would just be riding around in circles or would I be going places?
Coach: Circles, dude. Fat-guy rash on your arm.

Rate

 ‘Menus’ Quotes

Quote from Coach

Coach: [sings to island beats] Tiny pants man He don't have friends That's why he got the clock He got the clock to watch his only friends.

Quote from Coach

Coach: My system is built to be easy. Okay. It's easy as peanuts.
Nick: Easy as peanuts?
Coach: Yeah.
Nick: That's not an expression; no one says that.
Coach: PEANUTS is an acronym. PEANUTS stands for: Physical Education Activity Nuts! Like, like go nuts, have fun!
Nick: Yeah, but you got to use every letter.
Coach: I'm aware of that, but it still works.

Quote from Winston

Coach: Nick? I want to talk to you about your fitness level.
Nick: Of what? My body?
Coach: When's the last time you worked out?
Winston: You know what? I'll tell you when the last time he worked out was. It was the time that he battled his daddy's other dumb sperm in order to make his way to his mama's dumb-ass egg.
Nick: Your burns are getting better, man.
Coach: Just really long.