Schmidt Quote #573
Schmidt: Oh, God. Whoa. Are you choking? You're choking. Okay. Uh... What, are you biking and eating? All right, I got you, I got you. Come on! Live! Live! Live, biker! Ew. Yeah!
Man: Thank you. You saved my life.
Schmidt: What?
Man: You saved my life. You saved my life.
Schmidt: I did. Yes. Yes.
Man: [panting] Thank you. Thank you.
Schmidt: Yes! Dude! This is exactly what I needed. Oh, my God. Let us rejoice in song. Sh'ma Yis'ra'eil Adonai Eloheinu
Man: Please call 911. I'm hurt.
Schmidt: Oh, yeah, no, that's a great idea. I'm gonna call 911. I hope you don't have a dance recital later. I'm just kidding. Don't look at your legs. [Man wails]
New Girl Quotes
‘The Box’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Winston: Nick, it's my money, okay?! Give it back to me!
Nick: I make a little bit of money and you come slipping out of the "woodword"!
Winston: You mean "woodwork"?
Nick: What is "woodwork"?!
Winston: What's "woodword"?!
Nick: Wood! Word! Wood! Word! That's where people like you come crawling out of when people like me have money!
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hi, I'd like to unpay some parking tickets.
Keysha: Excuse me?
Jess: Well, I sent in a payment earlier for some tickets and I decided I don't want to pay them.
Keysha: Well, just cancel the checks.
Jess: Can't do that 'cause I paid cash 'cause my boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. It's early in the relationship. Still shaving above the knee if you know what I mean.
Keysha: Mm-hmm. Let me get this straight. You want me to watch the mail and let you know if I see anything from your boyfriend.
Jess: Exactly.
Keysha: Fantastic. Should I call you or...?
Jess: Text, text would be great.
Keysha: Perfect. Let me put your number into my phone. [taps on phone]
Jess: I didn't give you my number yet.
Keysha: Oh, I think you did.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I don't even know. I don't know what's cool anymore.
Jess: It could be a good time to start a bank account.
Nick: Yeah, or I could just flush it down the toilet.
Jess: It's not really the same thing, but-
Nick: A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls. That's all it is. I'm gonna keep my money where my mouth is. Um, under my nose. That saying actually does work.