Barry: People think Christmas is gonna be like Love Actually and "God Only Knows" is gonna play over their happy ending, but it won't. Do what I do. Hide out with a pizza and save the big issues for the New Year.
Jess: Oh, God.
Barry: Don't judge me for eating pizza!
Jess: No. My presents are gone.
Barry: What?
Jess: Santa stole my presents. He was a Reverse Santa.
Barry: "Reverse Santa"?
Jess: What am I gonna do now?
Barry: Well, you can't go now.
Jess: You're right. I can't. [sends a text message]
Barry: God, I'm drunk at work.