Quote from Schmidt in Bathtub
Nick: [quietly] I hope you like it. I poured that one for you. Drink it up. [normally] This is coming off weird ... it's creepy, right? Jess: Go get her. Nick: I can't do that. I can't talk to thirsty. Jess: Thirsty? Nick: I don't know her name, so I call her Thirsty. Thirsty Mendelson. Schmidt: Oh, you made her Jewish? Nick: I didn't make her Jewish. Schmidt: Mendelson? She's not Jewish? Nick: Well, thirsty... Schmidt: If her last name's Mendelson, she's Jewish. Tell you what her first name is, too ... It's Rachel.