Nick: [quietly] I hope you like it. I poured that one for you. Drink it up. [normally] This is coming off weird ... it's creepy, right?
Jess: Go get her.
Nick: I can't do that. I can't talk to thirsty.
Jess: Thirsty?
Nick: I don't know her name, so I call her Thirsty. Thirsty Mendelson.
Schmidt: Oh, you made her Jewish?
Nick: I didn't make her Jewish.
Schmidt: Mendelson? She's not Jewish?
Nick: Well, thirsty...
Schmidt: If her last name's Mendelson, she's Jewish. Tell you what her first name is, too ... It's Rachel.