Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #428
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and Sharona
Captain Stottlemeyer: So, you're gonna go to the uncle's apartment to check things out. And you're gonna take Natalie and Sharona. Can I give you a bit of advice man-to-man? Big mistake.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, you're- You're barely- You're- You're very- You're a fragile person.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: These women are gonna drive you crazy. You're gonna have a breakdown.
Adrian Monk: I know!
Captain Stottlemeyer: I love Natalie, and I love Sharona too. They're both wonderful women. You got lucky twice. But together they're like bourbon and vodka. I love them both, but I can't have them at the same meal, because they don't mix. These women are so different, Monk. They're gonna tear you apart like a piece of saltwater taffy.
Adrian Monk: I know, I've been a piece of taffy all day. Natalie's been acting like Mary, Queen of Scots. She wants more money. I mean, she won't lay down in the dirt when I ask her. I'm losing her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And it's only gonna get worse.
Adrian Monk: What do I do?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, you're gonna have to leave one of them here.
Adrian Monk: I can't. I can't choose.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well be careful.
Adrian Monk: Can I call you if it gets weird?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.
‘Mr. Monk and Sharona’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Just come in! The door's open. [screams as vacuum covers him in dust] Natalie! Natalie! Natalie!
Sharona: Adrian? What happened?
Adrian Monk: Well, it just blew up in my face! Call 911.
Sharona: No, no, no. We don't have to call 911. Just come with me.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I can't see. It's a code red, Natalie.
Sharona: I don't know what code red means.
Adrian Monk: Code red! We talked about this. We had practice drills.
Sharona: Okay, just- You're gonna be fine. Just splash some water on your face. Splash it on your eyes.
[After Monk splashes water on his eyes and finally sees Sharona, he tries cleaning out his eyes again]
Sharona: Hello, Adrian.
Adrian Monk: What year is this?
Quote from Sharona
Sharona: I thought at the most they were gonna offer me five to ten grand, but this is real money. This will pay for Benjy's college. Not just community college. Any college. He can go anywheres that he wants.
Natalie: Sharona, that is so great. I mean, congratulations! I'm sorry about the circumstance.
Sharona: Oh, no, no, it's okay. I only met the guy twice. Oh, my God. Is this what good luck feels like? I mean, because I never actually had it, you know?
Adrian Monk: Huh.
Natalie: What? Is there a problem?
Adrian Monk: There's something wrong here.
Sharona: Don't you say that. Don't find anything, because if this is not an accident, then they're not responsible, and then they don't have to pay. Do you understand?
Adrian Monk: Right. Okay...
Sharona: No, I want you to stop looking at this. It was an accident, okay? Say it was an accident. No, I want you to say it was an accident! [sighs] I know that look. I remember that look. I hate that look.
Quote from Sharona
Natalie: But they weren't alone. The caddy was there.
Sharona: The caddy saw the whole thing.
Adrian Monk: That's the beauty of it. It was a perfect plan.
Sharona: I don't understand.
Adrian Monk: I'll tell you later.
Sharona: No, you have to tell me now. Say "Here's what happened."
Adrian Monk: Well, he's right there.
Sharona: Just tell me. Say "Here's what happened."