Adrian Monk Quote #1719
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Bad Girlfriend
Captain Stottlemeyer: You can turn that off.
Lieutenant Disher: That's your bedroom.
Adrian Monk: It's not her bedroom. It's a replica. It's a duplicate. Here's what happened. You rented this truck under your maiden name and went to work. You duplicated everything. The furniture, the computer, the curtains, even the pictures. You must've been planning it for months. You began talking to the captain every night, from your bedroom at 6:30. Except for last Friday. Last Friday, you were talking from a parking lot a couple of blocks from that house in Novato, from a robot... uh, satellite.
Natalie: Wireless internet.
Adrian Monk: Whatever. That night, you chatted with the captain like you always did. You fooled him. You fooled me. You fooled everybody. At 7:00, you signed off and snuck into the house. You knew Sean Corcoran had an appointment there at 7:15. All you had to do was hide and wait. It worked. Except for the part about the truck getting towed. That was a tough break. When were you gonna go pick it up? The next time Leland left town?
Linda Fusco: How did you know? [Monk picks up a pen] A pen?
Adrian Monk: The night we talked, you put the pen down on the table. I remember. And it rolled a little. But yesterday in your bedroom, in your real bedroom, it didn't roll. It just stayed there. I couldn't figure it out. And then it hit me. On the night of the murder, your bedroom must've been on a slant. You parked on a hill.
Linda Fusco: I parked on a hill.
‘Mr. Monk and the Bad Girlfriend’ Quotes
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Adrian Monk: [over intercom] Ms. Hubbert, I'm sure you wouldn't want us to inform the school board about your little drinking problem.
Helen Hubbert: What? I mean, how-
Adrian Monk: How? How? We're the FBI, that's how!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for God's sakes, he can see the flask in your pocket.
Adrian Monk: And Ms. Hubbert, I'm sure you wouldn't want the IRS to know about your second job. You have been moonlighting as a waitress, haven't you? Have you been reporting all of your tips?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's looking inside your purse. He can see your wad of singles. Hey! Hey, Agent FBI Man, huh? [drags shoe across the mirror] Here, what do you think of that?
Adrian Monk: Leland, you can put this woman away for the rest of her life. Linda Fusco will still be guilty.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's not Linda. She was 30 miles away. It was this woman we're holding, Helen Hubbert. Weren't you listening? She has no alibi!
Adrian Monk: Then it can't be her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell are you talking about?
Adrian Monk: Think about it. That night, the killer was hiding in the bathroom. She could've shot Corcoran any time. But she didn't. She waited. Why? She needed a witness.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't have to listen to this.
Adrian Monk: Yes, you do! Leland, you're a cop. Look at it like a cop. Leland, the killer needed a witness to confirm the exact time of the murder. Why? There's only one possible reason. The killer had an airtight alibi for 7:20.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, wa- Because Helen Hubbert does not have an alibi, it means it couldn't be her?
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Her not having an alibi clears her?
Adrian Monk: That's right. It's the best alibi of all.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I am so glad we're not talking. I'm 51 years old. She's the last chance I have.
Adrian Monk: She's the guy.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Yeah, we have some news, some good news.
Natalie: Yeah. We have good news. We think we know who killed Sean Corcoran.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's great. That was fast.
Adrian Monk: Yeah. This individual has a motive.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good. Motive is good.
Adrian Monk: Owns a shotgun, and had access to the house.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's pick him up. What's his name? [Monk looks at Natalie] Monk, the suspect has a name, right? And what is that name?
Adrian Monk: ... Linda. Linda Fusco.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [laughs] That's hilarious. You got me. That's good. Ha! That's rich. See you guys manana.
Natalie: Captain? He's not joking. He never jokes.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's true.
Adrian Monk: She's the guy.