Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #272
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital
Captain Stottlemeyer: You know, Dr. Scott, we could come back later, when you're feeling better.
Dr. Scott: No, I feel great. This is just a precaution. Last night I had a slight substernal chest pain. I checked myself in, had them run a couple of tests.
Lieutenant Disher: Is everything okay?
Dr. Scott: Never felt better. First good night's sleep I've had since med school.
Cardiologist: You got lucky, Davis. You gotta tap the brakes.
Dr. Scott: Thank you, Mother. Do you seriously think Hank Johansen was involved with what happened last night?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, we're not sure.
Dr. Scott: I can't imagine how. He has progressive rheumatoid arthritis in both legs.
Lieutenant Disher: So you don't think he could lift a 40-pound oxygen tank?
Dr. Scott: Hank Johansen? He can't even put his own pants on. And besides, isn't he hooked up to one of these? I mean, you'd know if he left the room.
Cardiologist: I heard it was somebody from the clinic. A junkie.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Nurse: It's not possible. Mr. Johansen never left his room. He's been on the heart monitor all night. Here's a cardiogram. No gaps, no interruptions.
Lieutenant Disher: Actually, all we know for sure is that he never took the monitor off. What if he took it with him?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, please.
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's possible. I mean, all he had to do was strap the monitor to his back. And then climb out the window, shimmy down one story, unspooling 600 feet of wire along the way.
Nurse: He's 82 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: He's a veteran. They were the Greatest Generation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You through?
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Adrian Monk: And, Randy, you hit it. Remember?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's see it. [Disher starts to unbutton his pants] What are you doing?
Lieutenant Disher: Showing you the bruise.
Adrian Monk: What's he doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's near your ankle. Just pull up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, six of one, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's not six of one. Roll up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm already unbuckled. Okay, fine.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, look at this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is that?
Hospital Administrator: That looks like a seal. That could be from one of our oxygen tanks.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Room 623."
Lieutenant Disher: Room 623. All right, let's go!
Hospital Administrator: Uh, Lieutenant, that's the geriatric ward. If he's a patient up there, he's at least 80 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, then, we better move fast.