Adrian Monk Quote #1621
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital
Hank Johansen: What the hell are you doing?! Are you trying to kiss me?
Adrian Monk: No, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Johansen, hi. I'm Captain Leland Stottlemeyer. I'm a homicide detective. This is Lieutenant Disher.
Hank Johansen: Who's your lady friend?
Captain Stottlemeyer: This is Adrian Monk. He's a special consultant.
Hank Johansen: What happened to your nose? You get shot?
Adrian Monk: Shot? No, no. But it is bleeding pretty badly.
Hank Johansen: I caught a bullet in my nose in Korea. It still hurts like a son of a bitch, but you don't hear me crying about it.
Adrian Monk: I'm not crying.
Hank Johansen: But you want to, don't you? Yeah, he wants to cry. Yeah. I'm gonna call you Soft Serve. Like the ice cream. Soft and squishy.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Nurse: It's not possible. Mr. Johansen never left his room. He's been on the heart monitor all night. Here's a cardiogram. No gaps, no interruptions.
Lieutenant Disher: Actually, all we know for sure is that he never took the monitor off. What if he took it with him?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, please.
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's possible. I mean, all he had to do was strap the monitor to his back. And then climb out the window, shimmy down one story, unspooling 600 feet of wire along the way.
Nurse: He's 82 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: He's a veteran. They were the Greatest Generation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You through?
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Adrian Monk: And, Randy, you hit it. Remember?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's see it. [Disher starts to unbutton his pants] What are you doing?
Lieutenant Disher: Showing you the bruise.
Adrian Monk: What's he doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's near your ankle. Just pull up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, six of one, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's not six of one. Roll up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm already unbuckled. Okay, fine.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, look at this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is that?
Hospital Administrator: That looks like a seal. That could be from one of our oxygen tanks.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Room 623."
Lieutenant Disher: Room 623. All right, let's go!
Hospital Administrator: Uh, Lieutenant, that's the geriatric ward. If he's a patient up there, he's at least 80 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, then, we better move fast.