Sharona Quote #28
Quote from Sharona in Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale
Dale Biederbeck: Hey, did he tell you about his wife and me?
Sharona: I know all about it.
Dale Biederbeck: No, you don't.
Sharona: He didn't tell you. He's too ashamed. See, nine years ago, his beloved Trudy wrote a piece on me in which she said I was the Genghis Khan of world finance. So I sued her and the rag that published the piece. Now, I knew I couldn't win, but I dragged things on long enough that eventually Mr. and Mrs. Monk had to sell everything. Even that cute little starter house they lived in. You know who owns it now?
Sharona: You.
Dale Biederbeck: Mm-hmm. I use it to store my pornography collection. Which reminds me, are you interested in earning a little extra money? Oh-Oh, come on, now. Don't be like that. I mean, after all, Sharona, I know how you paid your rent back in Miami.
Sharona: What kind of dog is that?
Dale Biederbeck: Sweetheart, if you want to feel my stomach, all you have to do is ask.
Sharona: No, I wasn't trying...
Dale Biederbeck: Of course you were. You were thinking, "My God, can he really be that big, or is it a trick?" Let's find out, shall we? Totally... Alfresco!
Sharona: [gags] Oh, my God.
‘Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe we're looking at this all wrong. Maybe he killed her in his apartment, and then he somehow moved the body back to her house.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. What about the 911 call? She made it from the house.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. What about liposuction?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Lieutenant Disher: Liposuction. Yeah. He lipo'd himself down to, like, I don't know, like, 400 pounds. Down the elevator, crossed town, killed the judge.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, how did he gain all the weight back?
Lieutenant Disher: Reverse liposuction.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, my God.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah. He just pumped it all back in.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You think that's possible?
Lieutenant Disher: I don't know. Should I call a doctor?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Let's keep our reverse liposuction theory to ourselves.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Benjy: Okay, who do you want to be? Yellow, green, red or blue?
Adrian Monk: Oh, boy. Okay, um... Okay. Oh, boy.
Sharona: Honey, remember we talked about how Mr. Monk has trouble making decisions?
Benjy: Oh, yeah. Okay, you'll be Colonel Mustard.
Adrian Monk: Good.
Benjy: Now, you remember how to play? You write down all the clues on your pad.
Adrian Monk: I'm ready to guess.
Sharona: Adrian, you have to play the game. You have to go around the board from room to room collecting clues.
Adrian Monk: I know who did it.
Sharona: We haven't started yet. Come on.
Adrian Monk: It was Professor Plum in the dining room with a rope.
Benjy: He's right.
Adrian Monk: We played this game last year. I remember what cards everybody was holding and how they were put away. And then, just now, I was watching how Benjy shuffled...
Quote from Sharona
Sharona: [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hey, Captain. Yeah, he's right here. [to Monk] Stottlemeyer. [on the phone] Oh, well, actually, uh, we were just finishing up a pretty big case. It was this nasty homicide, um... This woman was found murdered in her dining room with a rope. Yeah. Hold on, let me check our schedule. [to Monk] It's a job.