Lieutenant Disher: There's a contest. It's like a promotional thing. Collect all the pieces, you get free refills for life. I've been looking for this one for six months. Ha, free refills for life. Captain. Captain, I drink four of these a day. I live to be 100, that's, like, a million dollars.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, a security guard was shot and killed. This is a homicide investigation.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir, I know. This coupon is three weeks old. CSI guys just cleared it. It's not part of the case. Cap- Captain, you're a spiritual person. I mean, you believe in God, right? I think this happened for a reason. Him dying, me finding this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What are you talking about?
Lieutenant Disher: Circle of life.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's The Lion King.
Lieutenant Disher: Exactly. Except instead of a lion, it's me. And instead of a baby cub, it's a Diet Coke.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, I'm gonna let you have the receipt on one condition. You know what you just said about the lion, and the baby cub, and the Diet Coke? You don't ever repeat that again as long as I'm alive, understood?
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir.

Dr. Kroger: [phone buzzes] I'm sorry. Um, your mother? Any meals in particular that you might, uh-
Adrian Monk: You want to take that call?
Dr. Kroger: No, no. It's just Troy, my son. It's a message from his school. He didn't show up again.
Adrian Monk: Maybe he's sick.
Dr. Kroger: No, he's not sick. He's probably in some parking lot listening to trash metal music and skateboarding with his friends. You know, the truth is I'm at a loss here. I have been a therapist for 22 years. I- I don't know what to do with him.
Adrian Monk: Would you like me to talk to the boy?
Dr. Kroger: No. No, thank you.

Natalie: Something is not right. I don't trust them.
Adrian Monk: Why not?
Natalie: Because they're guys, teenage guys.
Adrian Monk: So that automatically means they're lying?
Natalie: Yes, it does.