Adrian Monk Quote #1632
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital
Hank Johansen: Soft Serve! What the hell are you doing in my closet?! How long you been in there?! That's it. Now, after my operation, it's go time. In the parking lot, you and me.
Adrian Monk: Mr. Johansen, who assigned you to this room?
Hank Johansen: None of your damn business, you moron. Now, where's my wallet? What did you do with my wallet?
Adrian Monk: Sir, please! This is very important. I am investigating a homicide here.
Hank Johansen: If you touched my wallet, so help me, God, you're gonna be bleeding from more than your nose.
Adrian Monk: It was Dr. Scott, wasn't it?
Hank Johansen: As a matter of fact it was. There was a waiting list, and he had to pull a lot of strings to get me in here. [finds wallet] Oh, there it is. 12, 13, 14. Okay. You're a lucky son of a bitch.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Nurse: It's not possible. Mr. Johansen never left his room. He's been on the heart monitor all night. Here's a cardiogram. No gaps, no interruptions.
Lieutenant Disher: Actually, all we know for sure is that he never took the monitor off. What if he took it with him?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, please.
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's possible. I mean, all he had to do was strap the monitor to his back. And then climb out the window, shimmy down one story, unspooling 600 feet of wire along the way.
Nurse: He's 82 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: He's a veteran. They were the Greatest Generation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You through?
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Adrian Monk: And, Randy, you hit it. Remember?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's see it. [Disher starts to unbutton his pants] What are you doing?
Lieutenant Disher: Showing you the bruise.
Adrian Monk: What's he doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's near your ankle. Just pull up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, six of one, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's not six of one. Roll up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm already unbuckled. Okay, fine.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, look at this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is that?
Hospital Administrator: That looks like a seal. That could be from one of our oxygen tanks.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Room 623."
Lieutenant Disher: Room 623. All right, let's go!
Hospital Administrator: Uh, Lieutenant, that's the geriatric ward. If he's a patient up there, he's at least 80 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, then, we better move fast.