Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #344
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk Takes a Punch
Natalie: What's going on?
Captain Stottlemeyer: There is a private detective in San Diego named Rafferty. He works with the homicide squad down there as a consultant. A couple of weeks ago, they were chasing down some creep and Rafferty had a heart attack. Creep gets away. Now Rafferty's suing the city, the city's suing Rafferty, it's a train wreck.
Adrian Monk: Okay. So what does this have to do with, you know, me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: This is from Sacramento. It is a statewide directive. Effective a week from Monday, any civilian crime scene field consultant must pass a mandatory fitness test.
Natalie: Fitness test?
Captain Stottlemeyer: The California Physical Agility Test. The candidate must run a half a mile in four minutes then climb ten flights of stairs, do 20 pull-ups, and then scale a six-foot high wall.
Adrian Monk: Or?
Captain Stottlemeyer: There is no "Or." There's no "Or" on this page, Monk. Either you pass this fitness test or you can't work here anymore.
‘Mr. Monk Takes a Punch’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm looking for Frankie.
Johnny: Who are you?
Frankie Marino: Johnny, it's okay. The captain and I are old friends.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Friends is a funny word. I'm looking for Charles Bach.
Frankie Marino: Bach?
Lieutenant Disher: The iceman. He's been on your payroll for ten years.
Frankie Marino: You wearing a wire, lieutenant?
[Disher removes his tie, unbuttons his shirt to reveal his bare chest, turns around and lifts his shirt up to show his lower back. He unbuttons his pants and drops them to his legs.]
Frankie Marino: How about you?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.
Frankie Marino: Okay. Let's talk.
Lieutenant Disher: Why did I just get undressed?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't know, Randy. Everyone in the room is wondering the same thing.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Lieutenant Disher: How'd it go?
Natalie: It went good. You know, it was our first day. So we're just warming up, but he's gonna do great.
Adrian Monk: Eh, I went about 30 yards.
Lieutenant Disher: Did you hit a wall?
Adrian Monk: I wish I had. It would have knocked me unconscious.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Mister Regis, Ray, Machine, do you have any enemies? Or have you received any threats lately?
Ray Regis: Not lately. Five years ago when I lost the title, it seemed like everybody wanted my head.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That was a tough night. I thought you had him in the fifth.
Ray Regis: Yeah. It wasn't my night.
Lieutenant Disher: It's a tough racket. I do a little boxing myself. Light middleweight.
Captain Stottlemeyer: When did you box?
Lieutenant Disher: Remember the benefit for the police athlete league? Took Sergeant Mulroney in nine rounds. TKO. Left uppercut.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Stan Mulroney? He retired 12 years ago. We called him "Pops."
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, that's right. He was older than me. He was experienced. Wiley.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He had a cane.
Lieutenant Disher: And he used it.