Adrian Monk Quote #325
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Very, Very Old Man
Adrian Monk: First, we're gonna prove that you killed George Rowe to get his security pass.
Dennis Gammill: His security pass?
Adrian Monk: You needed it to get into the nursing home, in order to kill Miles Holling.
Dennis Gammill: Steve.
Mayor Steven Rudner: No, no, no. Care to tell me why?
Adrian Monk: Because of something you said, Mr. Mayor, five years ago. It was in Karen Stottlemeyer's movie, which which I thoroughly enjoyed, by the way.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. Me too. I watched the whole thing.
Adrian Monk: When you buried the capsule, you made a promise to Miles Holling. Remember? You said that if he lived another five years, that you'd dig it up again, so that he could add a final chapter to his autobiography.
Mayor Steven Rudner: That's right. I did.
Adrian Monk: If Miles turned 115, they would have dug it up. And in your paranoia, you couldn't risk that happening, could you? So you tried to scare the old man to death. Late night phone calls, death threats. When that didn't work, you realized you had no choice. You had to kill him. There's something in there. Something you thought no one would see for 100 years.
[flashback:]
Mayor Steven Rudner: I've written a letter to future generations, and I've asked my family and staff to do the same. Why don't we drop them in now?
[present:]
Adrian Monk: The mayor invited his family and staff members to add a personal note. Let's take a look at what Mr. Gammill wrote. Captain? Would you mind reading it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: "On December 2, 1998, I killed Darren Leveroni with my car. May God forgive me, because I will never forgive myself. Signed, Dennis Gammill." The urge to confess.
Adrian Monk: It's a cop's best friend.
‘Mr. Monk and the Very, Very Old Man’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: The feeding schedule goes up to last Friday. He's- He's- He's loose. He's somewhere in the house. [jumps up on table] Come- Come up- Come on up here. It's plenty strong.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not getting on the table with you, Monk. I thought you were afraid of heights.
Adrian Monk: Snakes trump heights. It goes germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, elevators...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, I don't need the entire list.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: All right. Here's the question. Who would murder the oldest man in the world?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I know what the question is, Randy.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay. Look at this. Book of World Records. Enrico Palamo. He was Italian. He collected yarn. He made the world's biggest ball of yarn. He was murdered three years ago, still unsolved.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, maybe the world's biggest kitty cat did that.
Lieutenant Disher: I think we might have a serial killer on our hands.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, God.
Lieutenant Disher: Somebody is killing world record holders. One at a time.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You think we oughta warn the fat twins on the motorcycles? Or, wait, wait, wait. Maybe we ought to put a 24-hour guard on the guy with the beard of bees.
Lieutenant Disher: I can never tell when you're being sarcastic.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm being sarcastic, Randy. Get the book outta here.
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's finished! The rug is clean.
Adrian Monk: I know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Then what's the problem?
Adrian Monk: [stops vacuuming] The lines in the carpet. See? You went on a diagonal. I like to make a grid! It's no big deal. [resumes vacuuming]
Captain Stottlemeyer: You win. I give up. [pulls the plug on the vacuum]
Adrian Monk: Excuse me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: You know what I'm gonna do? First thing in the morning, I'm gonna call the Vatican and I'm gonna nominate your late wife Trudy for sainthood! Because you are impossible!
Adrian Monk: The lines! They're all diagonal! I have to live here!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Forget about the rug! This is not about the rug! Do you know what you are? Do you know what you are? You're the world's best marriage counselor. You could save every marriage in California! All people have to do is live with you for two days! Two days! And they'd never complain about their spouse again.
Adrian Monk: What are you- What are you doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I am going home! I am gonna beg Karen to take me back. I'm gonna beg her to take me back. I'm gonna tell her I am a different man, and I will not be lying.