Sheriff Bates: What can we do for you?
Adrian Monk: I'm a little confused.
Sheriff Bates: Oh, that happens all the time. Let me guess, you got off Interstate and you were looking for a gas station.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. I'm not lost. Well, I am. I don't know who I am.
Sheriff Bates: You can't remember, like amnesia? Have a seat.

Sheriff Bates: That's a hell of a speed bump you got there. I've got an ice pack somewhere. Has a doctor seen that?
Sheriff Bates: I don't know. How'd that happen?
Cora: I'll tell you how it happened.
Sheriff Bates: Cora?
Cora: A paint can dropped on his head and he about fell overboard.
Adrian Monk: Overboard?
Sheriff Bates: How do you know this, Cora?
Adrian Monk: Because I was there. It was in Naples, Italy. He was on my cruise.
Sheriff Bates: So you know this man?
Cora: Yeah, I know the man. Of course I know the man. He's my husband.

Cora: Feel better? You should. You slept for 15 hours.
Adrian Monk: I had the strangest dream. I... I dreamt that you were a blonde.
Cora: A blonde?
Adrian Monk: And- And you looked pretty... Different. Pretty different. [separates his food]
Cora: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Well, I'm... It's a religious thing.
Cora: Don't play with your food. Just eat it.

Cora: The roof again. This place is a dump.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Cora: [cute talk to a cat] We have a cat?
Cora: You love cats.
Adrian Monk: I love cats.
Cora: Jinxy, it's my new husband Jerry.
Adrian Monk: My name is Jerry?
Cora: Jerry Little. Short for Jeremiah, which is my favorite name.
Adrian Monk: That's certainly a coincidence.
Cora: Isn't it?

Adrian Monk: Oh, are these clothes new?
Cora: I bought them yesterday. They look good. Ooh, that is a good look on you.
Adrian Monk: Where- Where- Where are my clothes?
Cora: You lost them. You lost everything. Gambling.
Adrian Monk: I gamble?
Cora: Mm-hmm. Darling, you have a serious addiction. Can't stop yourself. Bet all your luggage and bet everything you own on red. I was in the casino. I was watching ya. That's where we met.

Adrian Monk: Oh, oh. I'm gonna need some money. I owe that waitress 7 dollars.
Cora: What do you care?
Adrian Monk: I just wanna do that right thing.
Cora: Maybe later. Right now, you got some chores to do. You love doing chores.
Adrian Monk: Oh.
Cora: Here's your list.
Adrian Monk: Fix the roof? No. No, I can't.
Cora: Sure you can. You're a roofer.
Adrian Monk: I'm a roofer?
Cora: That's your job. I tell you what, tiger. You fix the roof and later on tonight, show you how much I appreciate it.

Gail: Are you two together?
Cora: Yeah, we're married. We're married. This is my husband Jerry.
Adrian Monk: My name is Jerry. And we're married.
Gail: No kidding. Well, congratulations.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Cora: Yeah, just like in the movies. We met on that cruise I took. Saw each other in the casino and boom. We knew it, didn't we? We knew. Love at first sight.
Gail: Oh.
Adrian Monk: That's how it happened. Evidently.

Adrian Monk: Is Debbie here? I owe her some money.
Gail: No. She quit this morning.
Adrian Monk: She quit?
Gail: Just like that. Found this note on the door. Said that her boyfriend's moving to Denver and she's going with him and she doesn't know when she'll be back. I was her best friend. She didn't say a word to me.
Adrian Monk: There's something wrong with this. Look. Look at that smudge. This note was written by a left handed person, but Debbie is right handed.
Gail: That's right, she is.
Adrian Monk: I don't think Debbie wrote this note. Where does she live?
Gail: Right next door. I have the key.
Cora: What do you care about this girl?
Adrian Monk: I just wanna check it out, dear.
Cora: Well, make it fast, 'cause when I get home I got chores to do and loving to make.

[As Monk walks around with his hands held out in front of him]
Cora: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I think... I'm thinking.
Cora: That's the way you think? If you want to look around, look around like a normal person. You're embarrassing me. I gotta live in this town.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry, dear. Something is wrong here. It looks like she's had this bird her whole life. She wouldn't just leave it behind, would she?
Cora: How are you noticing this stuff?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. I'm just seeing things.
Cora: Can I be honest with you? I wish you would concentrate like this on your roofing work.
Adrian Monk: Yes, my beloved.

Adrian Monk: Broken glass. Broken glass. This table has been moved. I think somebody was fighting in here. Do you see this tape? There was a rug right here. It's still sticky. Okay, why would she leave all of her clothes behind, but take the rug? Cora, I think this poor girl has been murdered.
Cora: [laughs]