Adrian Monk: Sheriff, what do you think? About the waitress.
Sheriff Bates: Well, I think... What do I think? I think she went to Denver to be with her boyfriend.
Cora: I told you.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. Sheriff. Sheriff. What about the parakeet? And the missing rug. And look... Look, wait.
What about the note? I don't think she wrote this note herself. See that? Sheriff.
Sheriff Bates: Mr... I'm sorry, I forgot your name.
Adrian Monk: So have I.
Cora: Jerry.
Adrian Monk: Jerry.
Sheriff Bates: Jerry, it's not like it is on TV. In real life, things are pretty much the way they seem. For example, this looks like a drunk driving accident, right? Well, that's exactly what it is.
Adrian Monk: He- He was drunk?
Sheriff Bates: Oh, yeah, drunk as a skunk. Eight o'clock this morning, Roger Zisk, local hotshot ploughed through that fence into these bees and got stung about 100 times. Idiot.

Adrian Monk: The windows are up.
Cora: So what?
Adrian Monk: Why didn't he stay in the car? He was surrounded by bees. I would've just stayed put.
Cora: Yackety-yak yak. What are you talking about?
Sheriff Bates: He probably panicked. Like I said, he was really wasted.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so. I saw him. Just a few minutes before 8, he drove right past our house. There was a branch in the road. He swerved to avoid it. His reflexes were perfect. He couldn't have been drunk.
Sheriff Bates: He wasn't drunk, he deliberately drove his car into this bee farm. Why would anybody do that?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Sheriff Bates: And Debbie Barnet isn't in Denver, she's been murdered. Have you seen a doctor about that bump?
Cora: It's not the bump. It's some kind of midlife crisis. All of a sudden, he's not happy fixing roofs. He's gotta be Captain America. [slaps Monk's head] What is wrong with you?

Sheriff Bates: Hey, Jerry. Jerry? Hey, Jerry! [Monk turns around] Could I talk to you a minute? I've been thinking about what you said this morning about Roger pretending to be drunk. Now, we found some blood in his car. It wasn't fresh. It was from the night before.
Adrian Monk: He hurt himself before the crash. Some place else.
Sheriff Bates: Well, could be. In the meantime nobody's heard from Debbie Barnett. Do you really think there's a connection?
Adrian Monk: Well, what do you think, Sheriff?
Sheriff Bates: Hmm. I'm gonna go over and talk to Roger, see what he has to say. You want to join me?
Adrian Monk: Yeah.

Sheriff Bates: You know a Debbie Barnett, right?
Roger Zisk: Yeah, sure.
Sheriff Bates: Well, evidently she left town without telling anybody. I just talked to her parents. They're mighty worried. You haven't been seeing her, have you, Roger?
Roger Zisk: Sheriff Bates, you're talking to a married man.
Adrian Monk: Did you know she was pregnant?
Roger Zisk: Well, how would I know that?
Adrian Monk: You like Willie Nelson, Mr. Zisk?
Roger Zisk: Yeah, he's all right.
Adrian Monk: You're left handed, isn't that right?
Roger Zisk: Carl, who is this guy? Look, I got work to do. Just educate this man, all right? You tell him who he's talking to.
Adrian Monk: He's the guy. Let's call the captain.
Sheriff Bates: What captain?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Sheriff Bates: Jerry, I like your style. As a matter of fact, I've been looking for a deputy.

Cora: A deputy?
Adrian Monk: Sheriff said I would make a great detective. He said I was a natural. He said he would sponsor me, help me with the application.
Cora: Well, forget that.
Adrian Monk: Cora. Darling. I think he's right. Listen. The truth is I don't like myself very much. I have all these strange habits. I'm nervous all the time. But when I was there today, at the scene of the crime, suddenly it all made sense. Things were clicking in my head. Click, click.
Cora: I'm not living with a cop. I hate cops. You're a roofer. Understand? Conversation's over.
Adrian Monk: Yes, darling.

Cora: All right, look. This is my fault. There's too much pressure. Let's- Let's get out of here. We'll be spontaneous. Huh? Hey, I know. Let's go to lookout point. That's where all the kids go.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no. No, we can't. No. Remember, the sheriff said they were having a problem up there with the bees and the hornets. Everybody's getting... Stung. Cora!
Cora: Should I lie down?
Adrian Monk: I think I just solved the case.

Adrian Monk: I- I work with you. I work with all of you.
Lieutenant Disher: You're a detective.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're a great detective from San Francisco.
Natalie: You were married to a woman named Trudy.
Adrian Monk: Yes. I know about Trudy. Natalie.
Natalie: That's right. [laughs]
Lieutenant Disher: Bet you have a million questions.
Adrian Monk: Yes, I do. What's what's my name?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Ha, ha, no, really, what's my name?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah.

Sheriff Bates: Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Sheriff.
Sheriff Bates: If you're looking for a job, my offer's still good.
Adrian Monk: I appreciate it. But I have to get back to San Francisco. I have a life. More or less.
Sheriff Bates: Well, don't be a stranger. I mean, to yourself.
Adrian Monk: That's good advice. [to Natalie] I missed you.
Natalie: I missed you.

Adrian Monk: Cora.
Cora: Roof's leaking again. You're a terrible roofer.
Adrian Monk: That's true.
Cora: I knew it wouldn't last. You probably hate me.
Adrian Monk: No. No, I don't hate you, Cora. I'm not pressing charges.
Cora: You don't like me, though.
Adrian Monk: Well, I don't know. We haven't really met, have we?
Lieutenant Disher: Monk? We gotta go.