Adrian Monk: Do you have a trash can?
Lisa Babcock: Just toss it anywhere.
Adrian Monk: It's wet.
Lisa Babcock: It's a leaf.
Sharona: Why don't you just throw it on the ground?
Adrian Monk: I'll throw it out. You'll thank me later.

Adrian Monk: I've got a good mind to take my business elsewhere.
Mrs. Ling: Oh, please, do, okay. Quit me, okay. Bye-bye!
Adrian Monk: No, no. Relax, Mrs. Ling. I was I was just kidding. Just kidding. You're the best dry cleaner in the city. I'm not going anywhere. [rings bell]

Captain Stottlemeyer: Come here. I want to talk to you. I understand that you are seeing Kenny Shale.
Sharona: Oh, it's nothing serious.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, it is. I wanna tell you something, Sharona. Your life is about to change. Everybody you know is gonna want a piece of you. You're not going to know who to trust. Monk can't help you with this, all right?
Sharona: Mm-hmm.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's... He's brilliant, but he's Monk. He's lost in Monkland.

Dr. Kroger: What's wrong with your shirt?
Adrian Monk: Nothing.
Dr. Kroger: W-W-Why are you holding it like that?
Adrian Monk: I put on the wrong shirt.
Dr. Kroger: What? There's a stain? Because, see, I don't... I don't see anything.
Adrian Monk: It's the button. Mrs. Ling sewed it back on. The stitching is all different.
Dr. Kroger: The-The The stitching?
Adrian Monk: It's not crisscrossed. It's parallel. D-Don't Don't pretend you don't see it.

Adrian Monk: You've got a serial killer on your hands.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, the woman was strangled. She didn't know any of the other victims. I am not crying wolf until I am 100% sure.
Adrian Monk: This is definitely the same man that killed Frank Pulaski at the toll booth.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A lot of people pay with $10 bills.
Adrian Monk: It's brand-new.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There are a lot of brand-new tens out there right now.
Adrian Monk: The serial numbers are sequential.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What? You remember that?
Adrian Monk: Well, I got a pretty good look at it. The bill at the toll booth ended with 6092B. This is 6093B.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A serial killer.

Sharona: Did I miss anything?
Adrian Monk: No, nothing much. We're just trying to catch a serial killer before he strikes again. Hardly worth mentioning really.

Kenny Shale: Hey, Adrian, thanks again for inviting me.
Adrian Monk: Don't make a mess back there.
Sharona: It's my car.
Adrian Monk: That's true. Don't make a mess back there.

Kenny Shale: The governor says hi.
Sharona: That was the governor?
Kenny Shale: Mm-hmm.
Sharona: He said hi to me?
Kenny Shale: Yes, he did.
Sharona: Adrian, did you hear that?
Adrian Monk: Did he happen to mention me? I met him during the campaign.
Kenny Shale: No. No, he didn't.
Adrian Monk: Saved his life, got him elected, that's all.

Adrian Monk: A Hispanic plumber, a retired white cop, an African-American school teacher... what do they have in common?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Absolutely nothing.
Adrian Monk: Exactly. They have nothing in common. Different ages, occupations, some were rich, some poor. Captain, this is a very diverse group. They are... too diverse.
Sharona: Too diverse?
Adrian Monk: I'm talking statistics. You'd have to work hard, really hard, to find a group this different. Plus, look at this. The blue pins indicate where they lived, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep.
Adrian Monk: The murders took place all throughout the Bay Area, but the victims all lived in Marin County. What are the odds of that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Go on. Go, go, go, go, go.
Adrian Monk: A diverse group, all registered to vote. You know where you find a group like that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, yes. On a jury.

Lieutenant Disher: We just came from his house. There was a body part in the freezer. A human finger.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Really? Oh, the D.A.'s gonna love that. They love body parts in the freezer.
Adrian Monk: But none of the victims were missing a finger.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, well, uh, he killed somebody else. I mean, that's why they call them "psychotic."
Adrian Monk: Why would he wait six years, and then kill everybody else on the jury?