Gloria Quote #862
Manny: Thanks for coming to my show, Dad.
Javier: Of course. I wouldn't miss it. But, hey, that is not the only reason I am in town. I, um... I have a proposition... something for you to chew on.
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: Couldn't you chew on it for us with your giant, new beaver mouth? [chuckles] I don't know why I made that stupid promise. I am on fire!
Quote from Javier
Manny: Hey, Dad!
Javier: There's my boy! [laughs] Whee! Someone has been wearing my custom-made cologne... Javier! For the man who wants to smell a little bit like a woman.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Today, our old neighbor-turned-tech-titan, Kenneth, is coming to visit. And he says he has a "big surprise" for me. I don't know if the super rich have access to time travel, but if they do, I'm going back to the '90s.
Claire: Ooh, to buy a whole bunch of Amazon stock?
Phil: No! I'm going to tell Felicity not to cut her hair.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!